Can you believe it? I left my purse at home today. Normally it wouldn't matter, but today...today i get petrol on my way home (because a full tank only lasts until Friday morning.). Fortunately my team leader has lent me a fiver so that i can get home! I can tell that it's going to be one of those days.

I'm having an internal debate about whether to join club sirius. I think i should, but the cost really puts me off. I can save money by paying it all upfront (549 quid) or i can pay 299 and then 29.99 a month. Both are for a year. I don't like having to pay more if can help it, but can i really afford to pay the full amount upfront? and then i look at the events, which seem to be around 50 quid on average.

Or i could just not go to most events, and perhaps occasionally attend one a quarter. I need to think more.

Well, i mentioned this to a "friend", who told me not to do it. Not merely because of the expense but because of my panic attacks and because (after being attacked) i don't like men who make me feel uncomfortable.

I felt hurt and tearful and it took my a few hours to think to myself why are you letting this person have so much power over you.I think it's part of that disease to please. I was definately brought up to be very polite and to look for approval.

Some of the people i have meet have been very nice, but others have not been so good for me. And the things they say abotu me have coloured other peoples opinions.

posted by small 4:16 PM