I went straight home after work on Monday, fed Charlie and then zoomed up to Leicester to visit my Grandma at home. She was rather hazy about what had happened, so i said that i woudl come back up tomorrow (Tuesday) and we woudl go and find out.

Unfortunately the hospital rang just as i was leaving at around 8:45 and said that we should go to the hospital straight away.

It was rather nightmarish as i don't know the hospital, and it seems like my grandma didn't know either. What should have taken just 10 minutes stretched a lot longer, as it is the kind of hospital where there is no receptionist after 6pm. We eventually found the medical unit and we were taken into a vistors room. I think i already knew then.

The Senior staff nurse and the Doctor came in and to me it was inevitable. Grandpa has died. The Doctor was a bit patronising: she said Grandpa had been very poorly. Well, yes we knew that. But anyway, his heart had stopped and they ahd tried for 30 minutes to recsusitate him, but it was no use. I cried. Not only did i manage to miss Dad, but i missed Grandpa too.

Grandma then went into see him, and i phoned work (yes, first, but i knew that if i didn't i probably wouldn't be in a good enough state) then i phoned mum. Then i went to see Grandpa.

I don't think i want to do that kind of thing again. I regretted not seeing Dad after he had died, but now i don't. It wasn't Grandpa lying there cold, with his mouth open. It was just a shell. Grandma kept asking if i wanted to go, and i said that he was happy to stay as long as she wanted, but eventually i said that i didn't see what point there was. That wasn't Grandpa anymore. So we went back to Grandma's. I stayed for a little while, but eventually drove home and was in bed around midnight. I think she mighthave wanted me to stay, but i needed to be alone.

Tuesday morning i got up and did a few odd jobs, and then went back to Leicester. We had lunch, and then i made arrangements. We went to the hospital to pick up his effects and the cause of death certificate. I signed for it, as Grandma was still in shock. I arranged the registrars appointment and an appointment with the funeral director. She was quite happy for me to do this as it is a bit beyond her. Fortunately mum is going to see her on Friday, so mum will take her to the registrar and the funeral director. Going to see them on Tuesday was too much for Grandma.

She doesn't want to change things because she thinks it's going to be prying into Grandpa's life. I had hoped that she had learnt from Dad's death that when you die you don't get to have secrets anymore. Grandma doesn't know where Grandpa worked, and doesn't want to change bills or let anyone who needs to know know. I was happy to do it for her, but she just kept saying that it was prying into his life. This is not going to be easy at all, but i don't want to find out that her gas or electricty has been cut off because she won't change the bills into her name.

Tuesday i travelled home ready to go to Good Hope hospital. Lindsay had her baby on Sunday night. A little boy, Oliver. I went with Kate, and drove to her mums house and then she drove to the hospital. I was able to have a long hold of little oliver and he was as good as gold! Lindsay is such a good mum, so relaxed and chilled out. It realyl shows. Poor Marcus has chicken pox, so he is not able to visit; and not only that but the hospital are not sure when Lindsay will be allowed home!

So that is an up beat note to end on for now.

posted by small 5:19 PM